From his obituary
Born on June 28, 1963, in New Rochelle, NY. Paul graduated from Sea Pines Academy in 1981 and attended the College of Charleston, Charleston, SC.
He married Bebe Holler at the Church of the Cross in Bluffton, SC on April 29, 1989, and they recently celebrated their 35th anniversary.
The Hilton Head of Paul’s childhood was feral and unfettered, much like Paul. The island was idyllic in those days and Paul made full use of his playground surrounded by the sea. His joyful soul and mischievous nature fostered many friendships in his youth, most of which were on hand to see him off at his passing. His love of connection to others, and the reciprocity he experienced in that love, is an enviable legacy. He tested the boundaries of adolescence, shaving a few years off his parent’s life, but somehow ended up a respectable pillar of the community – a head-scratcher for sure until you factor in his choice of brides. Bebe was the yin to his yang and the tether he needed. He was a devoted husband, a loving father, the biggest of big brothers, and the prince of sons (my mother does, in fact, refer to him as the prince). He was big in every way – stature, heart, joy, faith, and opinion. He had a booming voice and a gentle kindness.
Paul has had many jobs throughout the years as well as owning his own successful printing and data business however, his true purpose was realized in 2008 when Paul answered the call to help establish the South Coastal Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Over the course of the past 15+ years, Paul’s love of Christ combined with his considerable skill set, resulted in unprecedented growth of that ministry. It is fair to say that almost anyone within Paul’s sphere of influence has felt his unrelenting, fundraising prowess. This was never more evident than the past 3 years. Even during his battle with cancer, Paul remained vigilant in asking folks to pray for and support that ministry. Countless staff members and thousands of youths have been touched by Paul’s dedication. His legacy is undeniable.
Paul was a former member of Providence Presbyterian Church where he led a youth program offering Wednesday night fellowship and yearly mission trips remembered for hilarious mishaps and meaningful, spiritual development. Most recently, Paul was a member of Hilton Head Presbyterian Church where he and Bebe were blessed to be members of a “life group” consisting of several couples meeting weekly to stay connected to each other and Jesus.
Paul will be remembered fondly for his love of God and family, his humor and playfulness, intellect, passion for FCA, deep and enduring friendships, men’s accountability groups, love of Hilton Head, being a devoted husband and father, and a good round of frisbee golf. The common thread throughout all his relationships was his unwavering commitment to Christ.
Eulogy for my father
My father and I used to joke about having won the cosmic lottery. In all of time and space, we get to sit here on Hilton Head Island in the age of computers and air conditioning! We get to taste all the seasonings in Whole Foods, AND you are my dad!?? Unbelievable really.
My father did love to play the lottery, and he probably avoided Whole Foods because he felt they were too greenwashed, but nonetheless, we liked to count our blessings and were very lucky to have each other.
My dad woke me up every school morning throughout my childhood with back scratches and a warm shower running. He sent my sister and me on our way with hand-packed lunches for over 12 years. According to his calculations, he made over 4000 school lunches for us, and he claimed that stat always sat at the top of his life accomplishments.
That man could cook and he showed his love through food. He paid his way through the College of Charleston by cooking at The Chart House, where he met my mother. I saw him cook breakfast for hundreds of kids on church mission trips in Lakeshore Mississippi and Washington, D.C. or Christmas Eve Dinner for 30 every year.
He taught us how to entertain through oyster roasts and low-country boils. That most food is ultimately a vessel for butter, that Krispy Kreme’s are best warm and that there is power in a Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuit.
I knew my father as a “front of knowledge.” He had consumed a profound amount of news and movies in his life and at one point was a fierce Quiz Bowl competitor.
He loved sport and often dropped impressive statistics about players from the last 100 years. He felt like he failed as my father if I too hadn’t absorbed his lifetime of sports knowledge or know that Mickey Mantle held the most home runs as a switch hitter—536, in case you were wondering. For better or for worse, he was a New York Yankees fan.
He was a patriot, fond of our country, its ideals, and its symbolism of freedom and opportunity in the world. He loved this island — He often wrote letters to the editor of the Island Packet, with dozens published over the years. Many, critical of the world we were becoming. All in good faith that it could return to his high standards.
He was an excellent writer, though he never learned to type correctly. Most of my life, I saw him hunched over the keyboard, both pointer fingers poking his way through. Man, I dream of what he may have said if he had used all ten fingers…
He was my best editor — I got better grades and great jobs because of him.
He was also a great photographer. He took a profound number of photos during my lifetime, memories I will be forever grateful for. I reckon we have over 5000 film photos to sort through.
One of my favorite parts about him was his athleticism. It may have been hidden away in the last few years of his life, but the newspaper clippings from his basketball and track and field days are etched into my mind. Our lives were spent on bikes to the beach and in the ocean. My father’s best sports might be a tie between body surfing and frisbee. I’m still in awe of how long he could hold his breath and ride a wave all the way in until his belly hitting the sand stopped him, never before his lungs wore out. He was known to swim in the ocean during hurricanes, lightning, and even waterspouts.
His time on the beach was marked by his Eagle Scout attention to gear kit and picnic prep. He was an early adopter of the backpack beach chair and a lifetime wearer of Teva sandals. He put every insulated cup made through the ringer, and always had his Swiss Army knife handy.
All of this beach prep was ultimately to set up base camp for the most important activity of the day: frisbee. He had the frisbee arm of Ernie Els — BIG and easy, with the perfect flick of the wrist and the right angle to ride the wind. He really did master that art.
He showed me that life takes hard work but deserves harder play.
He had an incredible ability to see the unique qualities and potential within every individual.
He instilled in me the belief that service to others is our highest calling, and he showed how one can lead from the heart.
He participated fully in the greatest family I know; what it truly means to love your wife, what a true partnership can produce—a family grounded in love, respect, and fun.
With the support from my mother, our family, his friends, his medical team of doctors and nurses from the island, MUSC & Duke, and his faith in god; he defied the odds, outliving 90% of pancreatic cancer patients. At the end, he joked that he wasn’t sure he had ever been in the top 10% of anything in his life, yet here he was, an extraordinary testament to resilience.
He showed us that death can be an honorable thing.
He passed on Friday, June 21, 2024 – peacefully in his bed on the May River, surrounded by family and in my hands.
In every lesson, every smile, and in every moment of encouragement, he left his mark on our hearts. His legacy will live on through us, guiding us, and he will be deeply missed.
What a privilege and an honor it was to have Paul Alexis Cifaldi III as my father.